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How To Find Your Soul Mate In A Year Or Less – Part III

By Ellesse

This is part of the article series for “Find My Soul Mate”, the top goal ranked in my recent poll Top 10 Goals of Goal Setting College Readers. Do subscribe to the feed so that you don’t miss out any of the articles!

Read the previous articles in this series :

Aggie Jordan’s strategy is a full 13 step plan. It does seem a little too overwhelming, isn’t it?

But for someone who’s really serious about finding (or even marrying) their soul mate, it’s a set of rather comprehensive guidelines. Some of the steps can be quite controversial so do exercise your discretion if you’ll like to work the same. But remember, each is tried and tested by Aggie and 6 other couples she interviewed so there’s definitely a valid reason why it’s there.

Step 1 : Set Your Goal

The author starts off by asking if “you want to get married” and follow up exploring the reasons why you want may want to do so.

Now, if marriage is never an intention for you, this question definitely appears redundant. But instead of totally dismissing it, try asking yourself in a different light. For example, why do you want to find a soul mate? You could have been happily alone and single but why do you want to find that someone to support you in your life journey?

The rationale of this exercise, in my point of view is to uncover the burning desire that motivates you in this pursuit. Without a strong why, it’s very likely you’ll stray off the path and not sustain through the whole course. How many times have you heard people say they want to set up a business or fulfill some other dreams and yet find some silly or meaningless excuses later not to do so?

I know I’m slightly off tangent here but isn’t finding a soul mate similar? We may have decided we want to get attached or even married but how many of us have actually done something that brings us closer to that goal? Aggie puts it into perspective by arguing that our choices make our circumstances. If you want to find your soul mate, decide that you want it earnestly and do it with zest and determination!

The rest of this step focuses on confronting some of your limiting beliefs. Such as thinking that you’re desperate, believing in Cinderella-like romance myths or disregarding your self worth just to find someone. There’s some very good advice here.

Step 2 : Set A Deadline

I’ve always believed that dreams without deadlines are just plain dreams. Apparently, Aggie thinks so too because in this next step, you’ll be driven to set a deadline and believe that it will happen by the very date you’ve indicated. In fact, she’s so confident of this that she assures “Your mate will receive the signal when he’s ready.” And she certainly thinks that for anyone 25 years and older, setting to achieve this marriage goal in a year or more means you’re just playing games. Wow.

I admit my skepticism got the better of me when I read that. I mean, how can anyone be so confident about something so subjective? And how is a year sufficient for getting to know and marry another person? Towards the end of that chapter, I finally found the reason. Apparently, none of the 6 couples who worked on this Marriage Plan took more than a year to set their wedding date! Wow. Was it a coincidence? Hmm…

She also cautions against being too attached to the plan exactly as you make it. Something I truly attest to. Sometimes, you could just never know what opportunities may land in your courtyard.

Step 3 : Draw a Profile

Though external characteristics are some of the first criteria we tend to see in a partner, inner attributes are more important when it comes to looking for a soul mate. Aggie goes in depth, clarifying each core value and external characteristics listed below and dabbles into more complicated considerations such as having children, stepchildren, parents of stepchildren and the importance of having equality in the relationship.

Core Values

  • Honesty
  • Integrity
  • Intelligence
  • Trust
  • Ability to be Intimate
  • Ability to Communicate
  • Capacity to Love
  • Flexibility
  • Other Values

External Characteristics

  • Age
  • Ethnic Background
  • Financial Security
  • Physical Characteristics
  • Martial Status
  • Religious Background
  • Educational Level
  • Professional Occupation

She also emphasizes the importance of identifying qualities you’ll not compromise so that you’ll be able to eliminate potentials who’ve such before committing into a relationship. Though I’ve some difficulty grappling with this initially, on second consideration, I guess she’s right to a certain extent. I’ve seen people compromising on their criterion ended up getting into a tough marriage.

Such requirements are not necessary show stoppers but checkpoints for you to reflect if a potential is worthy before moving on. In Aggie’s case, though she wasn’t prepared to accept divorced men with children, that criterion actually made her gave Robert another review. Her love for his other inner qualities was able to make her see his martial status in a different light. After all, finding a soul mate doesn’t equate to finding a perfect person. But rather reviewing and accepting every part of his entirety.

To help you with this profile drawing, there are 5 fun and structured questionnaires (included with the book) which I’m sure you’ll find them enlightening, just as I did. Gives you a very vivid picture of what you seek for in another person!

Step 4 : Trust that He’ll Come Into Your Life

This consist of 2 parts. First, send out your vibes through visualizing your soul mate using the mental movie approach (as mentioned in point 5 in my earlier article 5 Tips to Daily Motivation). As you visualize, try to recall the profile that you’ve completed in the previous step and put them into your movie. Want someone more adventurous? Imagine getting to meet such a person during a mountain trekking expedition. Want someone more sensual? Visualize getting in a situation where that person shows his concern for you.

Then you’ll need to “help the person find you”, by identifying and participating in interesting activities to seek out this person you’ve been visualizing. Join online or offline dating services, hobby, adventure or social clubs that you think are likely to meet to people drawn in your profile.

What if you’re nearing your deadline and the ‘right’ person hasn’t appeared? That’s a signal that you ought to relax, forgo your fears and trust in your good faith that he’ll be there. Conventional wisdom, you may say but sometimes, some of the world’s best advice are actually the simplest.

Step 5 : Gain Support For Your Goal

I’ve to agree that this is one of the most embarrassing part of the plan. Telling someone about your goal immediately, after you’ve just set it.

“What? You’re asking me to tell people I’m want to find a soul mate? They’ll laugh their heads off!”

Wait a minute, Aggie‘s not asking you to tell everyone about your goal. She asking you to share with someone whom you trust will be an ardent supporter. Someone who’ll help you review your goal plan and give you advice. I agree with her that it’s very unlikely that you’ll find such a person in your family, but if your mum or sibling is just like a friend to you, by all means go ahead and talk to them about this.

Continued in How to Find Your Soul Mate In A Year Or Less – Part IV

Comments

2 Responses to “How To Find Your Soul Mate In A Year Or Less – Part III”

  1. Tina at 2:23 pm

    I really enjoy the content of your blog.Keep up the awesome works.
    Love & Gratitude,
    Tina
    Think Simple. Be Decisive.
    ~ Productivity, Motivation & Happiness

  2. Ellesse at 3:10 am

    Hey Tina, thanks for the your kind words. Very much appreciated! I checked out your blog too. Great writing…

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